Dog Day Afternoon

So, here's one for the books...

This afternoon my entire family got together for dinner at my parent's house. After eating, a few of us went out to see a movie. During the previews, I got a call from my mom saying that my dog (who is in heat) escaped the yard and now they couldn't find her anywhere. I told her I was on my way to help look, and I frantically left the theater. When I was just getting to my parent's neighborhood, my mom called to tell me she had found my dog. As I pulled up the street, I saw her standing on the sidewalk with my dog, so I picked them up and drove them home. My mother told me the following:

They noticed my dog missing and realized the front door had been left open and she had probably run across the street. So, my mother went out looking for my dog, whose name is Pancake. My mom was running around the neighborhood yelling, "Pancake! Pancake!!!" And asking people if they had seen a small white dog. She was asking some teenagers when one of them said, "You mean the one behind you?" And when my mother turned around, she saw Pancake being humped by a small chihuahua mix. Naturally, she yelled, "Pancake!" which startled the chihuahua, who then took off running, with my dog still attached at the genitals. They eventually detached and Pancake went straight to my mom, who picked her up, releasing a full stream of semen all down the side of her pants leg. This is the point at which I found them.

Upon returning to my parent's house, my mom went straight to her bathroom, and I took my dirty little dog to the guest bath and gave her a proper washing before returning to the movie theater for my now much-deserved evening out.

Needless to say, this was quite an eventful Memorial Day.

A Fresh Start

I am finally reaching a point in my life where I feel impressed to document my experiences. I am quickly learning that I am not like other people. In fact, I am very different. I am different in the way I act, the things I do and say, and the way I think about things. Mostly, I've realized that I have a lot to learn, and that I seem to be learning things every single day. My goal now is to document these things that I am learning. Not so much for others as much as for myself. This blog will follow my journey as I struggle to maneuver through this adventure we call Life.